The last week or so has been wonderful, frightening and emotional to say the least. It represents the last of “the year of first’s” for me, regarding my mother. To say I have been sad, would be an understatement.

For those that remember my very first journal on DA, you might be reminded of the fear I have of moving forward and lack of being able to. My creativity has / had been blocked for a very long time and my creative center (THE BACK ROOM) has housed for the last year, everything of my Mother’s, and Father’s, I either needed to deal with emotionally or physically. I have been ‘stuck’. So stuck, that somedays I walk in this room and feel my feet unable to move. I become literally and physically frozen. Bizarre, I know, but true. Well tax time has come around again, and I had decided that I cannot go another year without doing both my parents taxes. This has been one of the final ‘blocks’ I’ve had to get past..... so on the Wednesday I was leaving for LA, I told Danielle what I needed to do - she came over to help me at least find as much of everything I could - just picture THE BACK ROOM, kids .... it is just piles of ‘stuff’. Well we dragged the piles to my dining table and sorted as much as we could. I am looking for 2 years for 2 people. After a while, I now have my precious bag of unorganized stuff and proceed to HR Block - the place is packed when I walk in and I have to stand in line. A few minutes later this woman comes by we connect and she asks if I am just dropping off taxes. Well in my very best Lucy moment I start crying, sniffling, sniviling, babbling and gasping for air while I try to blurt out, I’m here to get my parents taxes done, and my Mom is dead. I think it was thinking that she is reduced to this bag of ‘stuff’ that really got me or the fact that this is the last of physical ‘stuff’ to hang on to her with. I don’t really know. If I new - I would most probably be Freud! Well, this poor woman doesn’t know what to do with me, but take me to her office, offer kleenex a soft voice and lots of patience. Well that was enough for me. An hour later I was leaving. I cried all the way home and by the time I was in the plane to LA I was okay again...... UNTIL.... I had to go and pick up the taxes this week. Not quite as emotional as the first time - I was there 3 hours and the gentleman was as kind as the woman before. We ended up fudging figures (using them from 2 years ago, because I don’t have current info, because I never informed the government that I was taking over my fathers affairs , and things need to come to me, ooops!). Well, right or wrong, they are filed and from here the gov’t can figure out the differences. I cried again that night and now a week later, feel relief. I still have some things to sort out but the worst is over now, I think.

In the meantime, since being back, a wonderful deviant was kind enough to send me a treasure trove of inspiration for me to work with.....so it may in fact just be the time for me to move forward.

Well on to LA .... what a great time we had. I had the opportunity to meet with fellow deviants as well meet a large group of DA staff , and I must say that you are all in good hands here. My first reaction upon meeting them was that of great spirit with a lot of heart and soul mixed in. This company has a wonderful vision as well energy. This is the place to be, and these are the people you want behind you.

Danielle and I walked everywhere and in another ‘Lucy’ moment we decided to walk to ‘The Stinking Rose’ and it turned out to be a two hour walk - OMG were we sore and tired with dry mouth, we were starting to walk dizzily on an angle. Of course this is because we did a 1-1/2 walk in the early morning - and I of course walked the rest of the day and then this...... well afterwards Danielle mentioned that no one walks to Beverly Hills. Well we just did. I was more concerned it would be closed by the time we got there, but alas when we turned that last corner and could see the restaurant we had renewed energy. Well not really, but we were able to make it to the door and enter a wonderful world of garlic.....Oh yeah baby, it was worth the walk. But next time, I would take a taxi.

We experienced some wonderful galleries, had great food saw Venice beach, The Grove, Farmers Market and many other lovely sights and sounds. It was a lovely trip, I stayed out of trouble and had an AHA moment on Saturday when it was discovered that we were coming back on Tuesday and I thought it was Monday. So my cheap little trip cost me an additional $700.00 + because I didn’t read the paperwork, duh!!!! Another ‘Lucy” moment for sure. Danielle said, Mom, didn’t you notice, didn’t you hear me - guess not. Between ‘sometimerz’ and the fact that I do listen - I just don’t retain anymore, I have many more ‘Lucy’ moments each and every day. So I came back alone and left lovely Danielle there for the extra day. I would have stayed except my Dad was expecting me so I couldn’t. Work would have expected nothing less from me than a little ‘screw up’. I’m always doing something interesting and funny. Ha Ha!!!

But as wonderful as it is to go away, I love to be home. Unfortunately, I have been sick upon returning although feeling better now.

So I thank you all for the lovely well wishes before I left and look forward to getting back into my journals.

For today, because I am reminded of her often, I want to honour my absolute favourite woman on the planet - Lucille Ball.

I LOVE LUCY, absolutely, with her fiery red hair, wonderful spirit, humour, klutzyness, antics, intelligence, beauty, vulnerability, facial expressions, laughter, silliness and the love of life she had. She is what the world needs more of. To Lucy .......